Well, my lovely new MV2 alloy wheels survived a staggering seven weeks before an outrageous lack of parking ability saw me drag the rear near side along a particularly rough and tough Twickenham kerb. There’s no consoling an enthusiast who’s just damaged his car due to his own mistake. I spent a couple of hours desperately searching for someone else to blame, and having been unsuccessful, have instead decided to spend the remainder of the month in a foul mood despising my disgraceful, woeful absence of parking skill.

Fortunately I have at least got various grades of wet and dry paper lying around from last month’s MV1 refurb, so I’ve smoothed the damaged ¼ of the rim and it now doesn’t look too bad. I need to acquire some paint to finish the job; I’m told that BMW’s Titanium Silver would be quite a good match, and again someone from the forum has come to the rescue and will hopefully provide a colour matched aerosol. DIY is certainly the way forward here, as I know that if I paid to have the wheel professionally restored, I’d no doubt clout it again in the near future and the anger cycle would start all over again!

I’ve not made any further progress with the white wheels mentioned last month as I’m still not sure if that’s the route I want to go with them. And because I’m lazy, and exceptionally bad at finishing projects I start…

I have however motivated myself to have the car serviced: maintaining the BMW history meant the oil service cost £160, but at least it shouldn’t have to go back to a dealers for another 13,500 miles. I was pleased to be told that the technician couldn’t see any problems lurking, even in the front suspension bushes. This either suggests that I’m paranoid about the condition of my front ball joints, or that I have an F1 driver-esque ability to pick up on the slightest niggle. My wallet hopes for the former, while my ego parks up with the latter.

I’ve actually had the car serviced about 1,000 miles early this month because I’m still not convinced by these epic service intervals. I’ve heard of other people changing the oil themselves half way between services for their own peace of mind, and I just may take this approach when next appropriate in a few months.

I’ve also chosen to splash out on a brand new M3 steering wheel. I sourced the part from an eBay shop for £148 including same week delivery from Sweden. Swapping the wheel involved the normal hairy airbag removal antics, but once I’d figured out how to release the damn thing with a screwdriver, it was really quite simple.

The new wheel really has enhanced the apparent condition of the car, and the driving experience. Firstly, it smells like new car. Secondly, its new matt finish makes the interior of the car look far newer than the old, shiny and worn original wheel. I’m not completely convinced by the M tri-coloured stitching, but the wheel feels so much better than the original. Ultimately, it has taken years off a 91,000 mile old interior, and really makes the driver feel in charge. I fitted new illuminated gear shifts to my last two M3s and found that these refreshed the cabin and improved feel, so this may well be next on the cards to complete the renewal of hands on driver tools.

As a result of the steering wheel change and airbag out procedure, I lost all my OBC memory settings. I was very pleased to note that a Sunday afternoon stroll from Woking to Twickenham and back (yes, including the kerbing incident!) was performed according to the OBC at a saint-like 54MPG (I really was being as efficient as possible!). Also, looking through my receipts, I last filled up over three weeks ago!

I’ve received a set of Fulda “Carat Exello” boots so that I may compare them to the outgoing Bridgestone Potenzas. They’re currently stacked up on top of the MV1s in the garage, making a comedy pile of tyres and wheels notably taller than me, but I’ll have them on the road before winter really sets in.

More mundanely, I’ve replaced the front wipers at a cost of about £25, and I’m pleased to report that the Connects2 box continues to be a reliable and excellent companion.

That completes my shorter than usual report for this quieter than usual month. Next month however will see far more usage with various trips planned to all corners of England, which should produce the usual blend of motorway and back-road entertainment, hopefully without any calamities.

Total mileage: 91,392
Mileage since last report: 640
Cost this month: £783 (service, wipers, steering wheel)